Your 20s are such an amazing period of life, you’re just finding your feet, living more independently and have very few ties keeping you anywhere. So far, I have laughed, cried, danced and grown as a person so I’ll share what I’ve learned so far with you all.
Chill Out. There is not a single person in this world who is 100% sure of themselves or their life path. Everyone is literally just going with the flow so chill, you’ll find your way. If anyone does have everything mapped out, I doubt that they are 21 years old and these plans are going to change for them so CHILL. I always thought everyone knew exactly what they wanted to do and who they wanted to be BUT when it came to UCAS time (applying to university/college) I realised everyone is just figuring things out. To sum up, chill out!
Not everyone has your best interests at heart. You’ll learn this the hard way but it’s an important thing to bear in mind. It’s easy to assume that everyone is nice and will be nice to you in the little nice bubble you build for yourself. I’m bringing a needle to pop that bubble, not everyone is nice and kind-hearted so bear that in mind. You don’t have to be friends with everyone and even sometimes, people you think are friends now turn out not to be.
Not everyone will like you. That is okay. If everyone liked everyone then we’d all have 3bn friends and who has the time to keep up with that many group chats anyway. I’ve learnt that when it comes to friendship, it’s quality over quantity. When I was younger, I’m talking 11 years old, I thought that if I had a billion friends on myspace then I’d be “cool”. Now, at 21, I could not care less about that kind of stuff. No one goes to their grave thinking if only I had 100 more Facebook friends or 500K followers on insta.
Face your book. Now that I’ve finished education, I am so very glad that I took to school and education as seriously as I did. If I hadn’t grafted and worked as hard as I did, so many of the doors that I’ve walked through would have been closed to me.
It’s okay not to be okay. If you want to cry then cry, let all of those feelings out. When I finally let go of all the things I’d been carrying for my whole life I got so much happier. If you’re going through a low in life then just know that things get better, I’m walking evidence.
Be 1000% unapologetically you. Trying to be something that you are not is exhausting and a waste of life. You are a unique gem, there’s no one else like you so show the world who you are – it won’t know what hit it. I’m goofy, really energetic and animated and that’s not a lot of people’s cup of tea. That’s fine, as I said, not everyone is going to like you – dulling your shine is not the answer. Remember when Serena tried to dull her shine to make Blair feel better in Gossip Girl, and how did that work out for her? Enough said.
You will make mistakes. This is also okay. When you make a mistake try to move on and don’t let it haunt you. I wont lie, I sometimes get deep cringe memories flush over me out of no where and I have to compose myself. When it comes to making mistakes, I just think let me not do that again.
Reflect. This goes with making mistakes, reflect on things that didn’t go the well and bask in all of your achievements. Life is an up and down, you’ll have incredible highs for example graduating from university. You’ll also have some lows: university stress, breakups, fallouts etc.
You’ll leave some people behind on the way. Friendships don’t always last forever, as we grow up we change. This is a lesson I’ve learnt recently, even if a friendship ends and you’re super sad about it, it doesn’t mean that that friendship wasn’t amazing. It’s just like relationships; when they end you still remember having amazing times together and how they made you so happy, you think of the laughs and the jokes and the good times. You don’t, hopefully, look back and think I hate this person and they are awful. Well for me, I look back and think I loved that person and still think they’re great, it’s just that they aren’t meant to be in my life anymore. It’s okay to be sad when friendships end just like you are when a relationship does.
Love yourself. “Some call it arrogance, I call it confidence”. I’m not wearing any makeup in the pictures above and my skin looks a bit ashy but ah well, I’m still cute. Look at all the things you love about yourself and hold that in your heart. What makes me the happiest is when my friends tell me that my friendship makes them feel more confident, I hold that in my heart and it makes me move through the world with more confidence. Look at yourself in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful, eventually you’ll start believe yourself.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learnt in life so far?
Teru xx